Sally’s Talk
Written for Mother’s funeral Sept.22, 2012
I have to just stand here a minute and look at you. And then I have to ask you why you are here. Why are you personally here? And I think I know the reason. It is because you feel Mother’s love for you. Is that not true? Everyone in this building right now felt her love for you personally. As the lucky daughter, the lucky sibling that got to have Mother in our home when she passed away; those last few months, years, times that she lived on this earth, I feel so privileged to have had her with me. She was funny. We talked about lots of funny things that she said. But it wasn’t that she said funny things, that endears me to her. It’s who she was. It was her love. It was her sincerity. It was her just being her - just a special, special, special mother.
I love the way that Mother not only cared about herself spiritually, because she did, she cared about herself physically clear to the end. She would go her to church with us. We took her to Sacrament Meeting with us almost every week that she lived with us. And, you know, she was a pretty big woman there for a while, and then as she got older and she started losing weight none of her clothes fit her, and I’d go to put something on her, and she would be not very excited, and she would look at me and she’d say, “Oh that’s so pretty. You’re so pretty. And I thought, you know what, Mother needs a new dress. So one day we stopped and I went in the store, one of my sisters was with me, and we bought her a new dress and I took it home to her and we took it in and showed it to her and she just lit up. And she said, “Ooh, is that for me?!!! And I said, “Yes Mom, and you get to put it on and wear it to Sacrament Meeting. She said O.K! She was ready to do it. This is the dress that I bought for Mother. And she looked beautiful in it, and she felt beautiful in it. And I just want to tell you that it’s not just the outside, it’s not just the clothing, it’s not the clothing that made her beautiful, it’s not the dress that made her beautiful.
My little part of this is supposed to be Proverbs 31:25 which says, “Strength and honor are her clothing and she shall rejoice in time to come.” And I think she is truly rejoicing today to have you here. She feels your love. I feel my mother here. I feel her here today.
I am so blessed to be part of this family. “A family is a blessing. It means so many things. Words can never tell the joy a family brings. A family is a heart love between a father and a mother, showing children how to love and care for one another.” That’s the first part of the poem about the family that my dad loved and my mother loved.
As we had Mother in our home and watched her endure to the end so gracefully, I was trying to think what part would my mom want me to play, and I don’t think we ever had a special event in our family that she didn’t say, “Well, somebody needs to write a poem.” And we all ended up doing that pretty well I felt like, and I loved the ones that were read today. I loved the one that Ethel wrote and read to you.
And as I thought about her enduring, I thought… enduring…enduring… I don’t think of Mother as being one who endured. She endeared. And I thought, “If we just took those words, those few little letters and changed the word ENDURE TO ENDEAR, we would have our mom. Because that’s what she did. She endeared all of you to her so well. And so, I got to thinking about what is endearing – how did she do that? And she did that because of the thoughts that have been spoken here today by my sweet brothers and sisters. Those are the words that describe CHARITY. And I had puzzled in my mind many times what is charity. We hear that in scriptures all the time. And what is it? Well, Mother knew the gospel. She taught the gospel. But most importantly, she lived the gospel. And that’s what love is. That’s the charity that she had, so the words came to my mind as I thought, “What is it that I should share with you today?”
So I took the opportunity to write a poem. You are the very first, you, you, are the very first to share it. I have never shared this with anyone. I wanted it to be special for Mother today.
Endure
Written by Sally Paxman for Mother’s funeral Sept. 22, 2012
Change the word Endure to ENDEAR and life becomes clear
as to what God expects here of me.
For the gospel imparts, in the songs of my heart,
that it's CHARITY in all I must see.
Charity's LOVE and comes straight from above
and is measured by acts and by deeds.
To endure to the end with my GOD as my friend
is the kind of a life I must lead.
So where can I find it; this LOVE that I seek?
The kind that my mother displayed?
For whatever the need, either word or in deed,
all would know she would come right away.
Right up to the end she was Mother and Friend
filled with love from her Father above,
She changed ENDURE to ENDEAR in her life's earthly sphere
And filled all our lives with that love.
So, where can we find it - this love we require?
You can't buy it or still it. It isn't for hire.
It's something you work for. Reach higher! Reach higher!
Surely you'll find it! Just cling to the rod.
Reach clear into heaven! LOVE DWELLS THERE, with GOD!
I bear you my testimony that I know the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. The plan of Salvation is the plan of Charity and love of God for each one of us, and He is not going to be satisfied, and neither is our dear mother and grandmother, if we are not all the jewels in her crown and come home and be with her there.
I bear you this testimony in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen